Lick My ACE. Sarawak Style Ms.J

Went to Sarawak 2 weeks ago. Short trip, but we managed to visit almost all the possible tourist destinations in Kuching town at the end of the 2 days we were there.

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The cat musuem was one of the cheesy WELCOME-TO-CAT-TOWN places we had to visit,

THE CAT MUSEUM. WHERE CATS COME TO LIFE!

The place was more or less what you would expect from a cat museum. They had cat statues, cat dolls, display cabinets showing cat food, there was even a cat grave. i wonder why they’d have that, did any cats die within the museum?

Well, a few questions to my tour guide enlightened me. this museum was where they filmed this:

“ohhhh….”, i replied.

As if it couldn’t get any worse. there were cats everywhere!

GIGANTOS!

BIG BIG GILA BAPAK sized CATS of all colours.

this was white, and SO dangerous my sister had to make sure she protected me from any unpredicted low blows.

they’ve also got an army of them in the middle of town. the tour guide says they go there everyday for a foot and body message, and after that for a Big Mac.

“ohhhh…” i said again. this guides pretty good ay. the girl on the right, well she surrendered.

We did go out of the city for quite a bit too. We went to the Semenggoh wildlife centre, around 30 minutes drive from Kuching to see orang utan. notice the singular noun, because well, only one dude came.

“OOOOOHHHH!!” went the ang mohs, seeing for the first time that dude who shares 97% of our human DNA. (www.iloveorangutan.com/facts)

dad’s face a relection of the sun. Some say he is the sun himself!

Kudos to the folks at Semenggoh for their conservation efforts. The place was well kept, and the rest of the reserve is littered with numerous species of both flora and fauna. I’s say this place comes second only to Singapore Zoo (at which i saw 13 dudes) I strongly recommend anyone going to Sarawak to give that place a visit.

Sarawak Cultural Village is where you’ll see the famed long house.

i particularly liked the tall house, because legend has it, it was built so tall to escape the clutches of the sinister CAT ARMY FROM KUCHING.

On the way back, we stopped by a town bordering Indonesia called Siringin, the place was sort of like Danga Bay during one of their indon bazaars.

The Malaysian Government is kind enough to issue day passes to Indonesian traders to ply their BURBERRI and CHANNEL goods, provided they return home across the border at the end of the day.

I decided to have lunch there, but i suppose lunch wouldn’t be of any interest to anyone reading.

After all, all i had was 3 juicy live worms (SURVIVOR/FEAR FACTOR kinda worms), and a barbecued one.

oh in case you’re wondering, the live ones taste like dried brinjal, the barbecued ones taste like chicken. YUM!

All in all, it was a good trip. I had fun. I’m sure my daddy did too.

continuumreign sings: Memory- Cats The Musical

∞

Viva la Vida

I cannot but take my hat off to Coldplay, arguably (a losing fight if you choose not to agree) the best, most inspiring, and mind-blaasting band in the world. 3 grammy’s and the promise of a CONCERT IN SINGAPORE! this might be old news to some, but damn this is -kill me now this can’t bloody be true- kind of superb. Awesome Awesome shit.

For more information, you could check out coldplay.com or visit their fansite coldplaying.com, read it twice if you don’t believe your eyes. i know i didn’t.

I went to their concert when they were in Singapore the last time, 2006. When Coldplay plays live, there’s so much energy, so much vibe, so much atmosphere; not only from Chris Martin (not to be confused with hisfriend(s) chris marvin) but also from the crowd who all feel the same euphoria when the indoor stadium gets saturated with the sound of Coldplay.

tickets are a little bit pricey; (nobody said it was easy) though nothing a few ang pao’s won’t defray.

initial estimates show tickets between: SGD 98 to 258, though i think the free standing one at 158 should be the ones you should be interested in.

Trust me, its worth every penny.

See you there. See them there too.

continuumreign sings grammy winning-song of the year: Viva La Vida – Coldplay (Bucland, Berryman, Champion, Martin)

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My Grandfather Story.

I’ve been away this holiday season. You wouldn’t believe me, but i was actually time warped to old downtown China, in the time of the  Lee Dynasty (as in i bent the space-time continuumreign to get there).

The story goes like this:

I went through this door, and bam, i found myself in the forbidden city. I thought the sign board was easy enough to understand, for my non mandarin speaking friends it says : qing lai, hen tuo ang pao. (come in, alot of ang pao)

The prospect of collecting ALOT OF ANG PAO was tooo good to overlook. Straight out of the door, i found myself in what looked like a royal gambling den. The eunuchs call it Ka Jing Casino. whoakay.

fooyoh! gambling is fun! i want to gamble! my ah kong thought me to gamble you know, when gambling he usually talks to himself. DAMN funny. he goes ” AH KONG, AH KONG!!”  He won lots of money once. i tried calling out my own name,  “AH LOY AH LOY!!” nothing happened.

I sat down for 5 minutes, this time calling my AH KONG instead. i won 20 bucks.

Then the banker learnt from me, she also started calling my AH KONG.

I lost 150 bucks.

Next up, was NAI-GEL Casino

Everybody Shouted AhKong.

I lost. ALOT

I couldn’t believe my luck. I came through that door hoping for ALOT of AngPaos and instead i’ve lost all that i started with!

I borrowed a mandarin-english dictionary from confucius who was squatting by the corner, determined to check if i read the signboard properly. It was confusing, i couldn’t understand. One thing i was certain, i could not return to my real life (sometimes i call my real life the Lee Dynasty too XD) unless i had paid off all my debts.

I was desperate. I gave it some thought, and followed my instinct. I was going to gamble, one last time. Confucius was shaking his head,

I reentered NAI-GEL casino,

sat at the Blackjack table. (African-American Jack if you’re touchy).

Put what was left of my entire life savings on one single bet. All 142 dollars and 23 cents of it.

Very slowly the banker dealt the cards to the 4 other players around me. last in line was me, i peeked at my card. WOOOHOOO!!!! I was dealt an ACE, The Ace of Spades.

“oh my oh my oh my, AH KONG come AH KONG come AH KONG come!!”

my final card slid across the table from the bankers hand, stopped where my few coins made it impossible for it to slide any further, spun a few degrees as it came to a complete standstill. Dhub Dhub Dhub Dhub, i could almost hear my heart racing as my fingers sprawled across the small surface that would soon be revealing either my life, or sentencing me down deeper into the abyss that i was already stuck in. I lifted my fingers, scooping so slowly the card clutched between my thumb and index. without peeking at the card, i jabbed my Ace of spades underneath the card to conceal it from my view. I lifted both the cards now with less care, but with anxiety building with every joule i lose lifting the card further up into the air.

AH KONG AH KONG AH KONG, PLEASE COME AH KONG!

With an unsuspecting jolt of adrenaline, i slammed the card on to the table.

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AH KONG AH!

Blackjack!

oh did you know gambling is bad?

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AS easy AS it seems, AS results come to light

To be honest, i’m afraid.

Afraid; not because the by far most important result of my academic life will be released in a matter of minutes; more so because i’m not afraid at all.

I’m afraid i’m not being afraid enough. makes sense?

Last night though, came an epiphany. Without a hint of doubt in my mind is in direct correlation to the event that is to befall me these next few minutes.

i dreamt of a periodic table (don’t be a smart ass thinking i’m referring to the 28day one); i dreamt the periodic table telling me that everything Moseley, or Mendeleev thought it should be, was wrong. Absolutely, and undeniably wrong.

what i could remember from my dream (i don’t exactly have photographic memory) i have drawn out in this new, and improved version the periodic table. I call it, “The Periodic Table by Tan, Leroy”

May my dreams now dwell in Lim Eng Wah’s HOT book.

All the best to my A Level knights-at-arms

continuumreign sings- everything- lifehouse

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Ravenous Venous Fetish – The Twilight Saga from the viewpoint of Leroy

My mother drove me to the bus stop, the bus had no windows. It was cold, i was listening to coldplay.

I arrived at the town of Spoons. (i only use Forks when i eat rice) It was sunny, very sunny.

My father; who is a police man just saman-ed some fella for not wearing rear seatbelts, drove me to my first day at this new school, but before he did, he stopped at jewellary shop and bought a 500 buck diamond ring, he said it didn’t cost him a thing, i didn’t understand what he meant. 5oo bucks was a lot of money.

So i arrived at my new school. It was lunch time. just then i saw the most irritating looking asshole, he looked so white, he put my friend Vinesh’s teeth to shame.

he looked like this

I immediately sensed something was wrong. When he saw me, he started shivering. i figured he could have been listening to coldplay too.

In biology class, i was nervous. i wanted so bad to leave early, but ms. Meera didn’t let me. Instead she wanted me to continue looking at urine samples under the microscope. lucky for me, i had a blocked nose. my friends all had a affixed cringed nose, as though they just went through plastic surgery with somebody who had BO.

I left early anyways, and went to eat.

That’s when i saw that same guy, the incredibly white asshole who looked like such a whoosy. When he saw me, i saw a change in the colour of his eyes. they turned orange! i thought to myself, “those must be incrediblyexpensive contact lenses.”

This guy also had an affixed cringed nose, but somehow, the cringe showed more of delight, than of disgust. I was worried, he freaked me out, at this point, i was nearly sure he was gay.

Next thing i knew, i was caught, not by 1 or 2, but 3 of his people, disguised schemingly in nurses uniform. I was unable to fight her or “it” off. to my absolute surprise, she spoke to me in absolutely perfect malay. I closed my eyes and tried to bribe her by putting a few bucks into her pocket. she was so focused on me, i think she didn’t notice.

Suddenly, this monster came forward, it was that same asshole, only this time, i saw his true form.

On very close inspection, i found out that the Bloody Bugger had 2 huge ass syringes attached to his teeth!

i felt alerted, adrenaline was spilling out of my adrenal glands like water out of a fountain.

It was only after a too many seconds that i realised what those needled syringes jutting out from his mouth were for. (apparently, stephenie meyer was right on the count that vampires didn’t have fangs, i found out they have needled syringes for teeth)

” Was i heading towards sure death at the hands of these BLOODSUCKERS!”

in a blink of an eye, the bugger went BHAM! into gold dust (must be sissy pixie dust) and took the shape of the crudest, ugliest thing i’ve ever laid my eyes on :

He had turned into a Bloody, i repeat, Bloody bag! (see that red bag hanging there?)

15 minutes later, i found myself awake. I looked to my right arm, and saw the crescent shaped scar burning my skin.

I looked around for an answer, “who were these who had just abducted me?”

I found my answer in the form of a small book they conveniently left me.

Inside, they left me a note:

dear Mr. Leroy. thank you for presenting yourself to us today. We have waited a considerable amount of time in this school of the town spoons for someone of your blood type. Blood TYPE A. this blood is very Good blood. Smaart people have blood type A as we have seen over our 300 years as bloodsuckers. Those with this mythical and magical group of blood are destined to get A in all their tests (i think they meant blood test) Thank you, YOU ROCK,

WE SUCK

I couldn’t believe i had a brush with a coven of vampires and i didn’t realise it until i got my blood sucked! I sat there cursing my luck. I found an apple in my goodie bag they left on my lap while they sucked away at me.

I opened my mouth for a big bite.

The end

continuumreign sings: bleeding love, bleed it out, bittersweet symphony – the verve

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Ke Lan Tan, or Ke-luar Lumpur

Today i recieved some good news.

The Prestigious USM of Penang, Universiti Sains Malaysia, told news straits times, who told my teacher ms.how, who told nigel, who told me, that….

starting from 2009, USM will be opening its doors to non-government schooled pre-university students. That means you, me, and mostly everyone who is to do with you and me, we will finally be able to pursue our university studies in a local government university!

hmm, not bad ay. Garden… singapore got ornot?

I can’t say for sure how the application and selection process is going to be, you could perhaps try asking miss how? (for t shirts’ sake, little miss how)

Here’s a few things i managed to find out before actually googling USM:

1. The Medical School has a good reputation of producing top notch doctors, all of whom i know are thrice my age.
2. USM graduates are awarded the M.D. ; not the M.B.B.S as offered by most Msian unis.
3. The fees of the entire course is not enough to pay for an entry form at IMU.
4. I know a few good penang laksa stalls around the USM campus area.

So, with these inherent bits of information, i googled USM Malaysia.

Since we’re in Malaysia (though they claim everything is “satu klik” away), i had to click on the “versi bahasa inggeris” icon, because of course, Medicine sounded nicer than Ubat. So i was 2 clicks away.

“Oh hi, i’m interested in taking up Medicine”

“Hai, Apa khabar! saya berminat mengambil Ubat.” ; “Kenapa eh Bang? Sakit?!”

finding the link to the ‘health campus’ wasn’t difficult. it just proved my theory “nothing in Malaysia is just a click away”

-I come From Malaysia. My Name Is- ! ! xobile.- two clicks there!

What i read next is going to blast your mind.

“Kelantan branch campus is one of our renowned campus for health research. With 5 main schools including dental and medicine, every year, students graduate with flying colours. For more information, visit  http://www.kck.usm.my”

err… what did you say?

“Kelantan branch campus is one of our renowned………….. students graduate with flying colours. For more information, visit  http://www.kck.usm.my”

did i hear you say, Kelantan?

My first reaction was, DAMN. i want Char kuey Teow, FROM PENANG! not bloody KELANTAN!

WAH PIANG EH! (chinese expression for “What BEEF BALL MAN!”) look where it is

yeah, its that red dot there. google earth puts it at 545 KM from JB. I put it at ten thousand gazilion miles from anywhere.

Visions of the school:

1. “To create an environment which is conducive for achieving academic, service and research excellence“ .Yeah, i suppose a way you could do that is by having only a day market to shop at.
2. “To provide exemplary services in medical care.” especially to ‘type-bandung’ diabetes and chronic keropok lekor syndrome patients.
3. “To consolidate and improve training and development of quality human resource in the field of medical sciences especially to meet the requirement of the nation.” Second best only to Manipal in India in cadaveric care/count
   
4. “To promote internationalization of academic, research and service activities relating to medical sciences.” Smaart idea. thailand’s just next door if you need an international partner.

All this said, I really hope i get a place there. After all, its a school where you learn, just like any other. Its the student they say that makes all the difference.

Penang Universiti SAINS Malaysia.

Kelantan Universiti SIANZ Malaysia.

HAIYAR, I SO SIANZ LEH..

continuumreign sings: Run – Snow Patrol. Leona Lewis (please hear only the good things)

∞

Victoria’s Secret: “shaddup, and don’t say anything to the girlfriend”

As a guy, i personally find Victoria’s Secret Fashion Shows a jaw dropping annual must watch.

Seriously, if you haven’t heard of it, there, now you have

If you’ve heard of it, but haven’t watched it before, you should,

Lastly, if you’re a guy, who’s very shy to admit you want to watch, but you don’t want to because of the many reasons that you can’t; eg. girlfriend, mother, underage-ness, hedonophobia (fear of pleasure, i kid you not. imagine an indian accent to this: He dunno. he dunno. he dunno phobia.); i’m here telling you that you shouldn’t be shy, the only thing you need to know is victoria’s secret.

Shaddup and don’t say anything to your ____!

she dunno= shedonophobia

So i’ve been living rather dangerously thus far, i have episodes 03, 05, and 07 of their angelic fashion show, and damn i must say, even girls like my 11 year old sister likes watching it. Its seriously DAMN NICE!

here’s a picture from their latest show, the 2008  show, which for reasons i will say later, i haven’t seen. Tell me if you can resist this; (guys- the girl, girls- the stuff you could be wearing)

My favourite Angel. Miranda Kerr

mind you, the fashion labels makes them for everyday use! imagine seeing her walking past mcdonalds in city square, even the lians long socks colour can’t make them look striking enough. in fact, add some wings to this angel, and i think she would evem be able to give me an airstike!

The Thing Is……………….

Last Friday, when the show was being telecasted over channel 5…..

i was Caught. Red Handed.

Girlf: What you doing?

Boyf: Err, Watching Tv..?

Girlf: What you Watching?

Boyf: Err… Discovery Channel, heard got documentary on Transition Elements la, Very Colourful, Very Fascinating. (Background- Usher’s Voice)

Girlf: Isn’t that Usher i Hear?

Boyf: Oh, i heard he graduated from Sydney U in Chemical Transitions.. Smart Guy. He doing theme song for this documentary.

Point is, i was found guilty. And Very Very Guilty, because i was supposed to be studying for my chemistry lecture.

That meant, 3 hours of community service. service to a community of one girl. The Punishment, download Photoshop cs 2 for her (i download legally from pirate bay).

3 hours well spent actually, i must admit, skyping is damn nice. you should try it.

So after the nice 3 hours, the crux of the punishment surfaced.

Girlf: its working!! Thank You!!

Charming Boyf: Most Welcome sweetheart. Try to see if it works.

Girlf: ok ok! send me a picture,i photoshop for you. oh oh, i know i know, send me a picture of your stupid animals (that’s what she calls victoria’s secrets models, becase they’ve got names that sound like animals ie. Giselle Bundchen, Adriana Lima)

Reluctant Boyf: What you want to do with it!?

Girlf: oh, i make them look nicer! can remove their pimples la, can make them slimmer la, aiya, just send me, i do.

StillReluctantBoyf: oh ok, hold on.

I sent her a photo of my Favourite Angel which is this-

The ‘Better’ more improved, photoshopped version of my favourite angel came with a note.

” OI! THIS IS FOR CHEATING ON ME!

THIS IS FOR LIKING YOU ANIMALS INSTEAD OF ME!

THIS IS FOR BLUFFING ME THAT YOU WATCH DISCOVERY CHANNEL!

THIS IS FOR BLUFFING ME THAT USHER IS SMART!

THIS IS FOR YOU! HMMPH!”

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poor miranda.

guys, rule number one.

Shaddup, and don’t say anything to the girlfriend.

∞

My Second First

I woke up to a dark blue sky for the first time since the 21st of Nov, which mind you, is an awesome feat especially for a person like me with a proven track record of dragging dark blue into the light.

Mind you, my personal-voice alarm clock sounded too sweet to be snoozed at, though eventually i did squeeze a moments’ shut-eye after the awakening. sorry sweetie.

Sunway College greeted me with (you guessed it) a sunny day, lots of new faces, and lots of taken parking lots.It was my Second First Day in college, my First First being the start of last year’s term, and this being second as technically I’m doing something entirely independent of what i was doing last year; because last year i was struggling, this year i’m STUDYING!

Leroy’s personal expectations = B – Biology, C- Chemistry, P (pass)- Physics , G (gagal) General Paper, M (made it through)- Maths

IMU’s expectations = A-Biology, A- Chemistry, A-Maths, A- Physics A- general Paper

Leroy’s Mum’s Expectations =spelling- 100% (my mummy will be so proud of me, see, B for Bio, C for Chemistry)

It would be nice to know if any other A Level friends are reading this, just a friendly reminder that our results are due to shock you on the 21st of January.

Brian and I were selected as station tenders of a games station (for your info, the freshies had a orientation thing happening today. It didn’t serve me any good memorizing any of the people’s names, but it did teach me one thing, i couldn’t memorize half the people’s names for nuts, though to be fair to me (and some nice christian named people there) it isn’t exactly easy grasping names like Chiu Chi, Ching Chao, and Ju Lian, though i would have bet a penny that that last fella sounded pretty familiar.

There was also the stripping game, where players were asked to use anything on their body eg. belt, shoes,handphone, wallet, t shirt, pants etc to form a chain from wall to wall across the room. Kudos to the guy who actually when buck naked, i think your team really appreciated that ‘bare a’ll spirit.

It was then that i finally realised how much Long Socks actually mean to them Long Socks wearers. Damn. You should see the grief in their faces when somebody asks them,

” hey, take off your  socks, can use.”

“eeyer, dowan eh… my socks very mei eh..(my socks very pretty eh)”

imagine, this, 4 lalas would have been enough to win their team the bloody game man!

and their bloody team (sunway has many lalas) had 6 of them!!

Class was not something to shout about, and note that the singular ‘class’ was used. Bet the only thing that really got our HORMONES kicked in, and made our body perform the HOMEOSTASIS was that really short skirt that lady was wearing.

the homs unit is used to measure the amount of radioactive emission caused by production of excessive hormones in mammals. used without permission. © KYR

Brian’s Gagger-Moller count was 54872.92 homs at rest. very high. RadioActive..

Other than that, the smart ones were studying, the gossip girls were Gping, the kino ones were porking, and the us ones were outside of class waving at teacher the majority of the time; i’d prefer that you refer to us as Smaart, that is called Smaart.

Ping Pong room smelt like home (pre-requisite of that statement is of course without the presence of non-flatulating but still stinking yatis), and to add to the day’s many revelations, we found that sunway had a greek student.

Hmmm, Socrates his name, produce of Greece, mixed in the Philippines, i say, give that guy a mic.

Last on my list, was on the way home around the time Shan and Rozz said this;

“Research Finds Firstborns Gain the Higher I.Q”

didn’t stay radioed for long enough to last that stupid jenny song, so i decided to do some research of my own.

The eldest children in families tend to develop higher I.Q.’s than their siblings, researchers are reporting today, in a large study that could settle more than a half-century of scientific debate about the relationship between I.Q. and birth order. (this obviously not written by me)

The average difference in I.Q. was slight — three points higher in the eldest child than in the closest sibling — but significant, the researchers said. And they said the results made it clear that it was due to family dynamics, not to biological factors like prenatal environment. (this too)

If you don’t understand what was just mentioned, (my target audience to that line are the lalas)  i shall provide a simple transcript.

I Not Stupid.

My sister is Less Not Stupid.

If you Are Big Boy, You Are Smaart.

If You got cheh cheh, or korkor, then you is stupider than them.

ps: to my girlfriend.. err. You Clever Girl. we settle later

ContinuumReign sings- On A Day Like This – Elbow

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Spell of Reluctance, Broken and Bound

ContinuumReign  is officially and indefinitely open.

Many I know own blogs of their own; my dear girlfriend, my closest friends, my ex-prime minister, the continuum prevails. Thus it was after taking into consideration the pros and cons of starting the blog, i decided that you don’t have to be a pro to start one, just ContinuumReign it! heck, why not.

ContinuumReign isn’t my first foray into the blogosphere, before this my other misadventure was as the co-co blogger (just ‘co-blogger’ gives me too big a portion than i deserve) of levasiz.blogspot.com of which i intend to talk about in later posts

ContinuumReign is aimed at giving myself a personal satisfaction in writing, allowing me a channel by which i may express myself. To be honest, i myself rarely visit blogs belonging to others; my better-half’s for eg, i visit on monday, my friend’s as another eg. i visit on tuesday. Ex prime minister lastly, i visit on what-la-dei. nah, i only know it exists.

So basically i wouldn’t genre-lise ContinuumReign simply because i don’t know how its going to be. My personal convenant though, is to keep it short and sweet. Reasons being

1. i wouldn’t want to bore readers with a continuum of words
2. i don’t think i write as well as i speak
3. i wouldn’t have to give excuses if i enter a phase of blogging-blockness

My Mummy always told me “How you are in person son, will show in the way you write”

I’ll let ContinuumReign speak for itself.

ps: down there i’ve named a song which enjoyed hearing, and think you should try hearing.
ContinuumReign sings- Flightless Bird, American Mouth- Iron and Wine

∞